Me: Guys, please go downstairs and clean the playroom.
James <screaming from downstairs>: Why are you treating us this way?!
Doctor <upon seeing June in her stroller>: Wow James, do you have someone very special with you today?
James: Yep, Jackie.
Me: Guys, please go downstairs and clean the playroom.
James <screaming from downstairs>: Why are you treating us this way?!
Doctor <upon seeing June in her stroller>: Wow James, do you have someone very special with you today?
James: Yep, Jackie.
The James Edition
Andrew: Give me that fork, you can’t run around with that. <confiscates fork>
James: You’ll never get away with this!
James: Do you have your shirt on when you die?
Andrew: Goodnight James, love you.
James: Happy Holidays!
Reese <after bath time>: Can you come and get James dressed? I don’t want to see his bum for so long and it’s everywhere I look.
James <while standing on his chair holding up a rice cake>: This rice cake is coming out of my bum.
Reese: Remember when I used to milk you?
Reese <immediately after throwing a fit about not getting a bagel>: On Peg Plus Cat, when Peg gets upset she takes a deep breath and counts to 5.
Me: That sounds like a great idea.
Reese: Yea, you should try it.
Me: No, you should try it.
Reese: So should you.
Andrew to Reese: Which shirt do you want to wear?
Reese: Nonsense! I’ll wear a dress.
Reese: Why does James have the Magic School Bus book in his room?
Me: He probably wanted to look at it.
Reese <in valley girl voice>: Why? James isn’t even interested in science!
Andrew <to Reese, while building with magnets>: What are you making?
Reese: A Sani-Can
Reese: <yelling at me>: When I’m 32 I’m going to do whatever I want!!!
Reese: Today, at school Eshaun blew bubbles in his milk, and the milk went all over his face and all over his glasses.
Me: That’s hilarious. Did everyone laugh?
Reese: No, because it wasn’t funny. The teachers didn’t like it at all.
Me: Oh right, it’s not funny.
Reese: Oh look, there’s a nice wicked queen who won’t kill me.
Reese: <while going to bed>: Mom, I’m going to keep you forever.
Me: I’m going to keep you forever too. And Dad, and James and Miles.
Reese: Yea, or just me and Dad and Miles.
Reese: The color of the hair on my legs is the same color as Taylor’s <Swift’s>
Reese: <on her play cellphone>: Oh hello, it’s me, Elsa the garbage woman.
Reese <while playing house>: I’m going to nurse my baby. There is soy milk in my breasts.
Reese: It is very upsetting to go to rest time.
Reese <telling me about riding her bike for the first time>: I was literally, riding my bike.
Andrew: Did you wash your hands?
Reese: At this point, no.
Me: The clothes that you wear aren’t what make you pretty.
Reese: I know, it’s the jewels that I wear.
Reese <pointing to box of tampons>: Can I have those when I’m a mommy?
Me: Sure
Reese: Thanks mom!