I have learned a lot of things about myself since becoming a Mom.
They’re not all good. But I’m going to be real honest here.
I consider myself to be a nice person, and I really do believe that most people who know me well would describe me that way. However, motherhood has shown me that I have another side. The controlling biatch side.
Now that Reese is almost a year old, I like to think that I have gotten this side of myself in check, but in the beginning it wasn’t pretty. Just ask Andrew.
I was made painstakingly aware of this side of myself when I viewed a video we took while giving Reese one of her first baths. Aside from telling Andrew what to do every step of the way (I continued to say “This is how I do it….”), the killer was when Reese appeared to crack a smile and Andrew commented, “Look! She’s smiling!” In the background I heard my annoying self say “She never smiles in the bath.”
What a B.
I might as well have said “I know more than everyone about babies, and smiling in the bath is absurd.”
Whether it was hormones or maternal instincts in overdrive, I was probably a little out of control bossy those first few weeks home with Reese.
However, slowly but surely I have worked on letting go and have come to terms with the fact that I do not do everything right. I understand that Reese won’t be scarred for life if she goes outside without a hat on and more importantly that Andrew and I are in this together and are BOTH first time parents who are equally clueless.
So the next time I find myself about to say “Wasn’t she in that outfit BEFORE her bath?” or “That’s not where that goes”, I will remember the sound of my annoying voice in the bath video, and I will shut it.